Pink
by Elphaba01
Summary: 'I didn't know you usually walk around in your underwear, Prongs.'


**This _was_ submitted for JPLE's "Who, What, When, Where Competition" on HPFC, but then I went a bit carried away with the idea and just shrugged away the _where _and thought it was a PROMPT.**

**Garrghh. Sorry. SORRY.**

**his is a dialogue-only story - haven't written one of these before, and it served an interesting write...****  
**

* * *

_**Gryffindor 6th Year Boy's Dormitory**_

'_Bloody hell._'

'What? Is it your sudden realisation that you will never, _ever _end up with Evans and that you have better things to focus on like the rest of the female species and ridding all discrimination on Earth? Have you been struck with the meaning of life? You pregnant?'

'What? _No_!'

'Good. I was getting worried I was the father for a minute.'

'Even if you were, I hope you understand that I would be far better off raising the child on my own.'

'That wounds me more than you'll ever know, Prongs.'

'Shut up, Padfoot.'

'... so what's the drama then?'

'Just look at these and _tell _me this is not a drama.'

'...'

'_Sirius_.'

'...'

'_No. _Not funny. _Nononononooo_ – what if Evans sees me in _these_? I'm going to look like a right dolt! She's going to think, "Wow. I used to say that I'd rather make out with the giant squid. Maybe I'd take up the offer with the Hungarian Horntail instead!"'

'You know what they say, pink is the new pink.'

'_Stop laughing_!'

'Why would Evans ever see you in your undies, anyway?'

'What're you trying to say, Padfoot?'

'I didn't know you usually walk around in your underwear, Prongs.'

'...'

'...'

'...'

'... oh.'

'What if Lily breaks up with what's-his-face because of a sudden sexual and loving attraction towards yours truly? What if she announces her love for me and pulls my trousers down on the spot?'

'In the middle of Transfiguration?'

'No.'

'If you're saying you want to get her drunk beforehand –'

'_No_! I never – that would be just –'

'Amazing?'

'I was going to say _foolish _and _stupid _because it's _disregarding _my respect for Lily _and_ myself.'

'You have to say, you probably thought of it _millions _of times before.'

'Well, yeah, obviously, I thought that went without saying.'

'Oh, it did.'

'...'

'That's not a good look, Prongs.'

'What?'

'You're glaring at the damn underwear like its Snivellus, or something.'

'Stop complimenting Snape.'

'Hullo?'

'Moony, James's –'

'_Moony_! Look what happened!'

'What – oh. _Oh._'

'Why wasn't _your_ reaction like that?'

'I actually have a sense of humour.'

'Surprise, surprise.'

'_Moony_!'

'How did the house elves manage to do that? I didn't know they used washing machines.'

'_Washing machines_?'

'What the bloody hell is _that_?'

'Have you been smoking?'

'...'

'Oh, Moony, don't give us that look. It makes me feel empty and soulless.'

'That's what you are, isn't it?'

'OI!'

'Washing machines are a Muggle thing for cleaning clothes – my mum has it. You have to be careful – if you mix up the white clothes with just one red sock, they all turn pink. Like you're, err, underwear.'

'So a sock has made my favourite undies pink.'

'It doesn't _have_ to be a –'

'...'

'...'

'... yes, a sock has made your undies pink.'

'I'm going to kill that _damn sock_ – I'm going to – to make it black, or something, or – or punch holes through it with those stupid Muggle punch-holers, or – _or_ –'

'Save that look for Nott, Prongs, it's _deathly_.'

'What's so important about your underwear, anyway?'

'He thinks he'll make it to third base sometime in the near future with Evans.'

'Oh.'

'See, Padfoot, you can learn a thing or two from Moony – he just accepts it.'

'I've learnt that more extreme things can happen whilst being in the proximity of you lot.'

'Aw, Moony, please, I'm blushing.'

'Hm. Can't you just, you know, swap your pink one for another white one?'

'Pah! Why didn't _I _think of that?'

'The werewolf strikes again!

'Many thanks, dear old pal!'

'This is why we're in Gryffindor, you know.'

'I'm a lion and proud, Moony, and I know _you_ are – _ARGH_!'

'Ah, I see you've finally found the mirror, Prongs!'

'What is it? A Boggart?'

'Kreacher?'

'Evans?'

'_Evans_? Where'd that come from?'

'The last six years.'

'Fair enough.'

'_THE REST OF MY CLOTHES_!'

'Oh, dear lord.'

'My t-shirt, my socks – they're all _rosy_ – I – NO! NOT THE SWEATBANDS!'

'You hardly wear sweatbands.'

'I DO FOR _TENNIS_!'

'It's not in the curriculum.'

'Wow, Moony, it's great to know you're catching on.'

'My reputation! It's RUINED! WHAT WILL I – oh, thank Merlin, my tie is not damaged.'

'_Sigh_.'

'THE WORLD IS SAFE ONCE MORE!'

'Huzzah.'

'Hurray.'

'...'

'...'

'...'

'Too bad you can't ask someone if you can borrow some of their undies.'

'I'm not letting you borrow my underwear, James.'

'I'm not prepared to let myself sink to that level in which I will have to write to my own mother that I am in need of more undergarments just yet.'

'But you can't just ask someone for their underwear, that's against the unsaid rule.'

'True, true.'

'Why is it always _you_, Prongs?'

'I dunno, actually. First it's the single-child thing, then my Hogwarts letter being delayed because the owl croaked it on the way, then it was falling passionately –'

'You mean obsessively.'

'– passionately in love with a ruby-haired princess, then it's losing the most prized possession I have ever owned in Filch's office –'

'How can you lose a _Marauder Map_? In _Filch's Office_, nonetheless?'

'That's a Pete-worthy loss, you know.'

'How _could you._'

'Never would've guessed that'd be you. It had _Wormtail 7th Year _written all over it, but I see you decided to grab the opportunity a _year early_.'

'_Hm_.'

'– and then it's this! _This_!'

'Oh, the shame.'

'You have the shittiest luck ever, James.'

'_Tell_ me about it.'


End file.
